How to Have Confidence Without Tearing Others Down- Royals Lesson!

Ciao Royals! Today’s lesson is about how to have confidence, without tearing others down.

Confidence: the ever-elusive, go-to word of advice givers everywhere. “Just be yourself,” “fake it til you make it!” etc…

Confidence seems to be a mission impossible for many, a priceless, fleeting feeling that evaporates when we look into our mirrors.

Why do we lose confidence? Well possibly in part due to society and our peers, as it can be hard to feel secure and prideful when someone teases you or society tells you that you aren’t good enough. These words and ideas buzz around in our heads like angry hornets, stinging us back down anytime we want to feel great for once. And possibly in part due to ourselves, as we internalize these things and sting ourselves too.

I know it’s hard to look into a mirror and assure yourself that you ARE good enough, strong enough, pretty/handsome enough: it’s hard to convince yourself of your worth because of the aforementioned angry hornets in your mind.

Confidence, for those of us who lack it, feels like the coveted holy grail, and we feel like endless explorers who can’t rest until we lay hands on it.

So with that struggle established, I return to a phrase I’m sure you’ve heard- “Fake it til you Make it.” But I say, you should actually do this! It seems stupid, like pointless nice words to console the protagonist of an after-school special. It’s cheesy, it’s grade-A fluff, and it’s true. Yes, this gem of drama programming is absolutely great- in moderation.

“Fake it til you make it”- When I think of that, I don’t mean that you should walk around pretending to be high and mighty and better than others. I don’t mean that you should tear others down. I definitely do not mean to bully others to feel great.
When I think of this phrase, I think of building confidence through love, positivity, and self-love.


1.   Be a positive, caring person. It’s easy to feel bad about yourself when you’re mean to others. It’s better to be kind and positive towards others, which will slowly build your confidence in yourself. Because every time you think “I’m a bad person” you will have hordes of evidence proving you wrong. 

2.  Practice self-affirmations. Whenever possible, give yourself compliments. Yes, even if they sound phony. You need to get into the habit of giving yourself validation.

3. Practice self-care, even when you’re not having a hard day. You don’t need to “earn” a self-care day! You can practice self-care whenever you want. And if you have problems with confidence, maybe you need to practice self-care more often to prove your worth to yourself.

4.    When you’re in a good mood, make a “things I’m good at/reasons why I’m a good person” list. Refer back to it in times of crisis. If you can’t think of anything, ask your friends/family/partner to help you!

Here is a video version of this post:
Remember that you are worthy of confidence, self-love, and all good things. I love you all very much!

Thanks for reading! I hope this lesson could help!

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  1. This lesson could help millions. I agree with what you said about society. That's why us humans need to know that we are made perfectly imperfect by a perfect creator named God. We are each unique and special and have something amazing to offer to this world.

  2. I think it really does help with confidence to be nice to others. Just saying a nice comment to someone can really boost your own mood.

    1. Totally! It can make you feel so much better about yourself to be kind to others. Thanks so much for reading!

  3. Great Post Dear………keep posting!!!
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