Healthy Friendships vs Toxic Friendships – Royals Lesson!

Ciao Royals! Today’s topic is about something near to my heart again, (kind of like last week, I’m going to be taking from personal experience), this time we are talking about healthy friendships and how to end a toxic friendship and move on.

When I was in high school I had a lot of different friend groups. And one thing I learned through all the friends I had, was what a toxic friend was. Later on, I learned what a good friend was.  

A TOXIC FRIEND:

-          Will insult you or give backhanded compliments often and maliciously. It’s one thing to have a friendship where you joke around with each other, but if you’re beginning to feel like you’re always the butt of the joke, maybe it’s time to talk to your friend about it.

-          Is never there for you when you need them, but constantly expects you to help them when they are upset/need you. If you find your friend is constantly “busy” when you need help or just flat out ignores you when you need to talk or need help, maybe it’s time to say goodbye. 

-          Is constantly using you for money, rides, ect, and never thanks you or is grateful in anyway. There’s nothing wrong with helping out a friend in need, but when that friend can’t muster up as much as a “thank you” there’s definitely something wrong.

-          Will guilt trip you when you say no to them. If you find that your friend is constantly making you feel bad for saying no to them, maybe it’s time to have a talk. You shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for saying no to things. It’s within your right to say no.

-          Will make plans with people in front of you without inviting you on purpose, to make you feel excluded.

-          Will vague post about you on social media or trash talk you anonymously.

A GOOD/ HEALTHY FRIEND:

-          Respects your Boundaries. If you for example don’t like to be touched/hugged, a good healthy friend respects this and won’t overstep your boundaries. 

-          May playfully joke you but will always make sure you know they’re joking. A Healthy friend will always make sure you feel comfortable with them joking with you first. 

-          Is there for you most of the time. You can’t fully rely on someone else of course, but a good friend will make sure to be there for you in most of your times of need. And you should be there for them too!

-          Is grateful to you when you help them. 

-          Will not guilt trip you when you say no. A good friend respects your boundaries (as said above) and will allow you to say no without the guilt trip.

-          Tries to include you in plans when appropriate. A good friend will not purposefully exclude you from social events. 

-          Will come to you directly with a problem instead of going to social media. 

MOVING ON FROM A TOXIC FRIENDSHIP:

Sometimes the best option is to simply end a toxic friendship. But this can be hard, especially when the toxic friend is the “leader” of the friend group you’re in. How do you move on from a toxic friendship?

The most important advice I can give to you is this: Don’t continue contact with the toxic person. Often toxic people are keen manipulators and will convince you that you are the problem, not them. You must cut off all contact with a toxic person to heal.

Thank you so much for reading. I really hope this post can help someone. 

  

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