3 Tough Love Self-Care Tips

Ciao lovelies! A few days ago, in my “Self-Care Day Routine” post, I briefly mentioned the concept that self-care isn’t all about the “uwu relax and drink water uwu” (uwu is a emoji-thing, btw) that you see on Tumblr.com all of the time. I mentioned the necessity of tough-love in self-care. Today, I thought I’d elaborate on that concept and give you some tips on how to administer tough-love to yourself to care for yourself.

Tough-Love, for those who may not know, is a concept that basically means showing love and care through things that aren’t just fluffy and cutesy. Like when a parent tells you to clean your room or get no dessert, that’s a kind of tough-love. Or when your S.O. tells you to get your sh-t together and finish your job application already. Tough love is done when person A has to be harsh to person B for person B’s own good. 

In the case of self care tough love, you gotta be both person A and person B, which can add some challenges. As much as we don’t like to think so, we often cut ourselves too much slack and allow for too much laziness and bad habits for ourselves. Through tough-love to yourself, you can develop better self-control, which leads to better habits, and a better life.

So, I put together this post full of tips to help you kick it into gear and give yourself some tough love, to your own benefit.
Tip #1- No More Loafing!
This tip is kind of meant more for people with depression, but can also be used for anyone else. I personally have depression, and have difficulty getting myself off my behind. I like to lay around in bed, wasting away and answering all questions with groans. 

I know that this behavior is bad for me, and bad for my depression. It will lead to downward spirals. So, I force myself to get up. It’s incredibly hard, and sometimes I have my S.O. help me, and force me to leave my blanket nest and go on a 10 minute walk. It’s amazing how quickly I go from miserable and unable to move to alert and ready to be active with just this 10 minute walk. I’m not claiming that “walking cures depression” (trust me, I’ve heard things like that for far too long to be the one to try and claim it) but it does help during those apathetic periods. Despite how much I’d rather groan about in bed, I force myself to get up and walk! Tough love in action.

Tip #2- I’m Doing This for YOU!
I often find that when I’m trying to do something, like drink more water, eat better, stop snacking, stop procrastinating, do my homework, clean my room, etc etc, I will often whine internally and find myself working/achieving slower, and slower….until I stop altogether. I ask myself “Why am I doing this anyway? I wanna go watch youtube. This is dumb.” And I stop.

THAT’S BAD. Don’t let yourself develop a negative attitude towards things like that! Whenever you catch yourself internally whining about a task, loudly shout (inside your thoughts, not aloud, you might scare people if you do it aloud) “I’M DOING THIS FOR YOU!” Remind yourself that you’re doing these things to better yourself, and should view it as a service to yourself. Sometimes we forget to be grateful to ourselves for making us get sh-t done, so we should take the time to remind ourselves of it.

Tip #3- Be the Bad Guy
It’s okay to force yourself to do chores you don’t want to do. It’s okay to be mad at yourself sometimes. Just be sure that you’re mad at yourself for being super productive. If you’ve gotta play Good-Cop Bad-Cop in your own mind, do it! Later you’ll be thanking your past self for all that you’ve achieved. If you gotta be a little irritable now to be satisfied later, do it. Know what is and is not a good tradeoff.

Those are the tough-love self-care tips I’ve got for you today lovelies!

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Thank you for reading, and I’ll see you in tomorrow’s post!