How I Almost Lost My Passion Due to Mental Illness- REAL TALK


Ciao lovelies! Today’s post is a bit more serious. I want to talk about how I almost lost my passion due to mental illness, and how hard living with mental illness can be.


Our story begins when I started school again. Leaving home for college is always hard for me, and while I hope it will get easier as I keep doing it, I’m not sure. My anxiety about returning to college kicked in almost immediately, and I began to have much more violent panic attacks than over the summer. Of course, I didn’t want to stop blogging because of panic attacks, so I kept on blogging but my content suffered.

Then, about 2 weeks into school, my mother called me one morning and delivered heart breaking news. My Grandfather (I call him Bampie) had died. I was devastated and cried the entire morning, with the rest of the day feeling like an empty, raw blur.

I took a break from blogging to try and come to terms with my grief, but I knew until the funeral I would only feel numb and like it all wasn’t real. And then I got sick.

I have a terrible immune system, so when I get sick, it’s like the world stops. I get knocked down hard and struggle to regain my health. This particular sickness was so bad I ended up going to an urgent care place, but even they could do nothing much. Stomach bugs are often like that.

My sickness started me into a depressive episode, unfortunately. My motivation was sapped from me. I no longer cared about blogging or anything really. I still forced myself to go to class and work, but blogging was lost in the process. I felt hopeless. I began to doubt how good my blog was. I compared myself to other bloggers constantly. I felt like maybe I was even in the wrong field of life.

But blogging is my passion, and I didn’t want to lose it to mental illness.. So recently I sat down and I forced myself to write. Something, anything, just to write. And soon the words came.

So now I am back, and I won’t lose my passion to mental illness because I am more than my depression. It doesn’t define who I am. I define who I am, and I say that I am a blogger. I am strong, and I will fight my depression.

If anyone feels the same way I did, you are not alone. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (or NAMI for short), “16 million American adults—almost 7% of the population—had at least one major depressive episode in the past year.” That’s a LOT of people. You are never alone when it comes to mental illness.

Don’t let yourself lose to any mental illness. Keep fighting. You are stronger than an illness. You define yourself.


Thank you so much for reading my story today. 



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Comments

  1. Luna, you are so strong and brave for sharing your story. Little by little, you will feel comfortable in sharing your story. You are becoming an awesome mental health advocate. I believe in you.

    With Love,
    Tiffany

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Tiffany, it means a lot.

      Delete

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